Friend Or More?
Dear Reply Guy:
Just like everyone that's been through high school, I have this enormous crush on my best friend. I've been trying to deal with getting over him but when I finally do, he does something that makes me like him all over again.
It's difficult sometimes because everyone at my school (including his friends and mine) have told me that we're basically "meant for one other". I don't really believe in much of the non-sense but it gets me thinking. Not to mention my family agrees that he somewhat does see me that way.
When I had first told him I had feelings for him (which was back in January of last year), he had told me that he doesn't see me that way. Of course I was heart broken yet everything I've tried has gotten me no where.
About three times or so this year, I've kept on asking him if he truly just sees me as a friend and he replies "yes". I don't know exactly how to explain this, but I have this gut feeling that he's hiding something from me.
A couple of days ago, him and his sister came over to my house to hang out. The usual happened but something really touched me later that day. We were all discussing why I had transfered schools two years ago and he said "if she hadn't transfered, then my life would be sad".
Lately it's been on my mind and I can't help wondering what it meant. I know I should keep it to myself (knowing I would be too nosy and whatnot). I honestly have no idea what I should do. Should I get over him and how?
Signed: Misunderstood
Dear Misunderstood,
From what I can gather from your email, it appears as if you both have very mixed feelings about being more than friends.
Since you stated in your letter that when you asked him about his feelings towards you he openly admitted to only wanting to be friends, I think you should go ahead and take the same route.
I know that might sound a bit strange given the fact that I opened this reply with the observation that you both appear to have mixed feelings regarding being just friends or something more, but here is why I think taking the "friend" route is the best way to go.
You see, if he is a solid friend and you really do like being around him, you are taking a huge risk if you guys get romantically involved.
If you are both unsure about the relationship and quickly head for the bedroom door and things don't work out, you will probably lose him as a lover and a friend.
With that said, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel for you guys after all.
If you go the friend route and you two truly do have strong romantic feelings for one another, there is no doubt in my mind, as long as you two stay close and continue to be friends, those feelings will surface.
If those feelings do finally surface, they will probably surface after you both have dated other people, but somehow always found yourself back in each other’s company.
Good Luck,
The Reply Guy
Just like everyone that's been through high school, I have this enormous crush on my best friend. I've been trying to deal with getting over him but when I finally do, he does something that makes me like him all over again.
It's difficult sometimes because everyone at my school (including his friends and mine) have told me that we're basically "meant for one other". I don't really believe in much of the non-sense but it gets me thinking. Not to mention my family agrees that he somewhat does see me that way.
When I had first told him I had feelings for him (which was back in January of last year), he had told me that he doesn't see me that way. Of course I was heart broken yet everything I've tried has gotten me no where.
About three times or so this year, I've kept on asking him if he truly just sees me as a friend and he replies "yes". I don't know exactly how to explain this, but I have this gut feeling that he's hiding something from me.
A couple of days ago, him and his sister came over to my house to hang out. The usual happened but something really touched me later that day. We were all discussing why I had transfered schools two years ago and he said "if she hadn't transfered, then my life would be sad".
Lately it's been on my mind and I can't help wondering what it meant. I know I should keep it to myself (knowing I would be too nosy and whatnot). I honestly have no idea what I should do. Should I get over him and how?
Signed: Misunderstood
Dear Misunderstood,
From what I can gather from your email, it appears as if you both have very mixed feelings about being more than friends.
Since you stated in your letter that when you asked him about his feelings towards you he openly admitted to only wanting to be friends, I think you should go ahead and take the same route.
I know that might sound a bit strange given the fact that I opened this reply with the observation that you both appear to have mixed feelings regarding being just friends or something more, but here is why I think taking the "friend" route is the best way to go.
You see, if he is a solid friend and you really do like being around him, you are taking a huge risk if you guys get romantically involved.
If you are both unsure about the relationship and quickly head for the bedroom door and things don't work out, you will probably lose him as a lover and a friend.
With that said, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel for you guys after all.
If you go the friend route and you two truly do have strong romantic feelings for one another, there is no doubt in my mind, as long as you two stay close and continue to be friends, those feelings will surface.
If those feelings do finally surface, they will probably surface after you both have dated other people, but somehow always found yourself back in each other’s company.
Good Luck,
The Reply Guy
posted by thereplyguy | 2:33 PM
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